I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
