I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
