Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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