my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
