How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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