After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You need a sexual gate keeper
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize