What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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