sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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