And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize