great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
