She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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