only if we run a train.
done.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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