Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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