You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
