you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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