it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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