nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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