Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
