i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
