So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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