you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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