Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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