ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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