She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
