I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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