he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize