If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
