For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
