hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
