i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
These tits shall not be calmed
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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