Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
