Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
