He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
This baby is an asshole
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
