he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
