Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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