Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We are all done wearing pants today
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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