I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
