Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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