He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
