Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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