hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
