hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
