I think im going to throw up on grandma
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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