literally had 100 drinks last night.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
