Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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