Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
