So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
