I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
