I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
