feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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