I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
