Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
