I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
