i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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