Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You can't just leave with hair like that
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
try to milk me bitch
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
