I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
