grandma shit on top of the toilet
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
