May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
