Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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