just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
