K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
