Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize