He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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