I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
