i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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