so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
