Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize