some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
