she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize