I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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