What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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