Whod you bang
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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