the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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